In a move that has left theologians stunned and Instagram silent, Rob Kardashian (the alive one) has reportedly been ordained as a Katholic Kardinal ⓒ, marking perhaps the most unexpected plot twist in both the Kardashian saga and the Apostolic Succession.
Unbeknownst to his family, he has been secretly attending seminary to gain his priesthood for the past 8 years. How did he manage to hide these sessions from Kris? The world may never know. Sources state that a spiritual experience with a half-eaten communion wafer and prayers for emancipation guided him to catholicism, as the only thing that could rescue him from his family was God himself.
On March 22nd, 2022, social media was flooded with Rob’s Batman-themed 35th birthday celebration, but it was a complete hoax. Early access to AI imaging and hologram technologies allowed the Kardashian family to simulate the birthday Rob would have had— if he hadn’t run to the Vatican for his Kardinal appointment. To the world, this was an ordinary birthday, but to the Catholic Church, this marked the beginning of a higher spiritual journey.
On April 21st, 2025, Pope Francis’s death sent waves of sorrow across the world, silencing a voice of compassion and unity. While the world mourned for a great leader, Rob Kardashian mourned for the secrecy of his Kardinal Status. He could no longer hide from the public eye, it was time for The Konclave ⓒ.
In the sea of Krimson ⓒ robes, Kardinal Rob Kardashian joined his peers in the Vatican, beginning the selection process for the new Pope. Historically, any form of photography, recording, or outside contact is strictly forbidden. Complete isolation is key for this process. However, we all know how The Kardashians bend the rules, even those made in the 13th Century.
For the first time in 750 years, the Conclave will be broadcast globally. Keeping Up With The Kardinals ⓒ is available NOW exclusively on Hulu. For only $13.99/month, ($5 off for charity), you can stream new episodes every Sunday at 10 AM CET (Central European Time) – perfect for a mid-sunday mass break.
Will the next Pope be a Kardashian? Will Kylie release a Last Rites Lip Kit? Are Psalm, Saint, and True next in line for religious leadership?
Find out this Sunday on Keeping Up With The Kardinals!
